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The other day, Rory, an account manager from our company, was on the IM with me. The guy is from Scotland and has an excellent Scottish accent, which I secretly adore. Apparently he was using online translator trying to impress me with his knowledge of Russian (if you do not speak that amazing language, just skip the first few messages), so I played along ;)

Rory - как может я помогать Вам
Oleg - никак 
Rory - никакая проблема
Oleg - иди ты куда-нибудь!
Rory -  где
Oleg -  в Шотландию!
Rory  -  я хотел бы к
Oleg  -  ну, не знаю… хотел бы уехал уже
Oleg  -  а подруга у тебя ничего себе такая….да….
Rory  -  haha it said ‘And the girlfriend at you anything to itself such’
Oleg  -  no way! I did not say anything about your girlfriend
Rory  -  that’s what it said in my translator tool
Rory  -  I don’t think your Russian is very good
Oleg  -  oh whatever. it makes no sense anyway
Rory - I dont think your Russian is very good - LOL!!!! its not bad, but it is clear that you have not used it in everyday life for some time
Oleg  -  I dont think u are real scott, never eaten salmon caviar…
Rory  -  I don’t think you are a real russian, i’ve never seen you drinking vodka or eating potatos
Rory  -  and you dont have a big beard. like Rasputin, now THERE is a real russian. you need to be more like him
Oleg  -  I did not see u wearing kilt either…
Rory  -  you did not turn up to the xmas party though did you? I had it on then. there are pictures on facebook
Oleg  -  how do I know? they might have been photoshopped
Rory  -  ive never seen you do a kosak dance either.
Oleg  -  You dont even know what it is ;)
Rory  -  I know all about kosak dancing.
Rory  -  kalinka kalinka kalinka my dear
Oleg  -  oh dear…
Rory  -  your name in the whisper of pines I can hear
Oleg  -  u know what.. im gonna put this conversation on my blog.
Rory  -  you do that, hello everyone!  

—————–

The following day…
Chistopher - I heard Rory’s accent is put on. He’s actually from Wales. People just hate the Scottish less
Christopher - Here’s a REAL question. Are you any good at Tetris?